Just Random Thoughts

      I doubt anyone actually reads my blog (mostly because I created this yesterday and hadn't told anyone about it...) but it's a quarter till 11, and I just got done babysitting. But I'm a little confused, because we (me and the people I babysit for) have an unspoken rule that I get paid for about $5 an hour. In some places that's low, but I live on the west side so it's pretty normal, haha. So I babysat for a little less than 4 hours, which mean I shouldv'e gotten $20, but instead I got $40. I don't check how much money they give me until I get home (because they give me a ride home and I feel rude for checking it in the car) so I didn't notice it till it was too late. So I'll probably mention about it Sunday during church, possibly text her tomorrow and ask about it. Gah, I don't know what to do.
      I feel... weird... at the moment. I'm sitting at the desk, but I feel as if I'm standing up, and I'm high above the ground. I don't know why sometimes I feel this way. I just feel like I'm balancing on a giant platform with only one support column.
     A lot of the time I will be sitting in class or whatever and then I get this weird feeling like, "What is life?" and I just feel all weird and everything. Then I start thinking about how a weird species humans are and I'm confused and I just question everything I do. I don't know if anyone else does this but maybe I'm a little crazy.
    The other day I finished This Star Won't Go Out by Esther Earl. It's sort of an autobiography of a teenage girl who has cancer. She dies young (she just turned 16) but it has some journal entries and her parents wrote some stuff and people that love her wrote some stuff and John Green wrote an introduction. It was sad. I technically didn't finish it because I have about 80 pages left. I got to the point where she dies, and then I couldn't handle it anymore and I was crying and everything and so I just put it back on my shelf. Maybe someday I will read the rest.
     I guess that's the reason I decided to start a blog. Someday, maybe when I'm dead and gone, people will find this blog and remember me. Idk, probably not.
      I don't know what else to write, so I'm going to go.